I learned this because I was recently in a situation that would have made for a perfect romantic movie moment, but instead of being swept away, which in all rights I should have been, I was annoyed.
This has caused me to really question what kind of person I am. Is there something wrong with me? Who wouldn't want for their life to be a movie. The only thing missing was the soaring music. Well, I don't know if I have something wrong or not, you be the judge. I do know that romantic gestures are just not my thing.
Take for example one of my all time favorite movies: Say Anything
But, you know what? If this (see above) happened to me now, I would be thinking, "Great, now Dad is gonna be mad and the neighbors are going to call the cops, and I was in the middle of Grey's Anatomy on DVR!"
Maybe not, but that is what I think I might think.
And what of other romantic scenes? I looked up the top most romantic scenes online. The two that were in pretty much any list have never, NEVER, appealed to me. The whole pottery scene in Ghost? Eww, just too messy. And Titanic? Just not romantic at all really (well about as romantic as Romeo and Juliet, but if you actually read the play you know its NOT romantic in the least), but the scene over the bow of the ship? Are you trying to get killed? Get off of there!!!
There are a few movie moments that I find appealing: when Rhett brings Scarlett a new hat from Paris while she is in mourning and tells her she needs a real kiss and then proceeds to demonstrate. Now that is good stuff. But the scene from that movie most people go on about is when he carries her up the stairs in a fury. Sorry, people, rape (even marital rape) is just not on my list of romantic interludes I wish to experience.
Another favorite movie of mine is It's a Wonderful Life and the scene where they are talking on the phone to a friend and he starts shaking her and telling her he doesn't want her or a career in plastics and then they kiss passionately, I always loved that scene. But now I am thinking about that and I have to tell you, I would be right angry at him for that. I think I would have slapped him.
So, tell me. What are your favorite romantic movie scenes? Think them over and tell me, would you go for it in real life? Are any of you out there really true romantics? Am I an aberration? Please share. And don't hold back.
12 comments:
I like the IDEA of romance. The idea of a man pining for me and willing to go to the ends of the earth. But, any time I have found that in reality, I'm completely turned OFF. I like the elusive boys-hard to get, you know the type ;0). Any time they just showed me a half-ass interest , I melt. Write me some poetry, I'm yours for life. But it has to be the RIGHT person. Even with my husband, I can't do romance. I like the IDEA that he loves me like no other woman. But, when he wants to get all cheesy and passionate, I pull back and crack up! I did LOVE LOVE LOVE when he sent me romantic notes and cards though. So I guess that is my weakness. Just put it in writing, and drop it in the box lol.
I agree with Angie that the IDEA is beautiful & carries you away - I actually love RomCom movies & read Chick Lit et al, much to my husbands confusion ;). However, I think a lot of it is problems with expectations - I've always been very suspicious of unwarranted & out of the blue romance, I don't take compliments gracefully (I find myself feeling like I'm supposed to respond in a certain way that I never learned & usually either laugh or say something self depreciating) & I abhor surprises of pretty much any kind, so my responses have always been bad (and yes, I have totally been called out for this) and it's not that I don't appreciate it or even want to get love notes for no reason or have someone declare their love for me in the middle of a busy street. I also think it's a lot easier to forgive your protagonist(s) for being complete morons/assholes for an hour & a half & because they do something grand & beautiful at the end (usually having some sort of magical epiphany) everything is okay. But really, what does it say about your character if you leave your own wedding cause some guy showed up & finally got the balls to declare his love? How dependable is that dude? And how dependable are you?? And how dependable is that rush of euphoria six months later? There's also the problem of overkill - I mean really? If you get all gushy & cheesy every single time we talk or see each other it gets a little old & frankly not very sincere. Okay, this sounds really cynical on my part - so I will say - if Eli is out running errands or whatnot & brings me home a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry's just cause he thought of me, it makes my heart melt - it's true, that's all it takes.
I am so glad you guys feel this way too. And, Sara, I hate surprises too!!! The whole sincerity thing hits the nail on the head. If all you hear are movie lines you don't know how they really feel, or you at least question it.
And for me, if I get to sleep in one day unexpectedly, don't have to put away the laundry myself, or get a really great footrub, that's enough.
One of my most favorite romantic comedy movies is high fidelity (oh, and I'm still a sucker for a good mix tape ha ha) - I literally had an argument with a friend in Pittsburgh about whether it was a romance or not though, she though it was depressing, I thought it was the most realistic thing I'd ever seen ;)
One of my favorites:
Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really...
Laura: Delivers?
Rob: Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so...
I STILL have not seen that! But, yes, I love the mix tape and that scene sounds great. That is all I want. Someone who never gets tired of me. They can leave me alone from time to time though!! LOL
Oh, Yeah!! Love the sleeping in unexpectedly! Or hey, coffee's already made, how awesome is today??
I dunno...I can be pretty romantic, but I understand how movies do not translate well into real life. Some gestures of romance just lose their sparkle after so much imaginary hype. That said, here are my favorite romantic movies:
1. You've Got Mail, because my fiance and I met on the Internet. Although this was my favorite movie before we met. And truthfully, I like this movie more as a slice-of-life than a romance. The romance is just okay, but I love that she owns a bookshop, lives in a romanticized NYC, and has a secret life.
2. While You Were Sleeping. For the same reasons as above; it's just a funny movie, and the romance is okay. I do like that Bill Pullman gives Sandra Bullock a snowglobe of Florence, because perfect gifts = very romantic.
3. Shakespeare in Love. Forbidden love is always romantic. I mean, I'm perfectly happy not being in a forbidden relationship, but would Will and Viola be just as in love if their trysts weren't taboo? Anyway, the sex is great in this movie.
I love High Fidelity, too. What is that line about the underwear? I need to dig out the DVDs.
I am not very romantic. I got a laminator for Christmas this year and was thrilled. I think it is just nice to have someone do nice things for you, even if they aren't what most people would think of as romantic. And I'm not married to a romantic person, so it works.
I do love love love that scene from It's A Wonderful Life, though, but I think it's because it was quite true to life for me.
I am not a cheesy romantic either. At all. I can't stand it. Fortunately, I am married to a man who feels the same way. We are more consistent and practical in showing our love for each other rather than sappy, cheesy spectacles. They're too contrived for my taste.
I love Say Anything. But I would die if Lloyd was doing that outside my window, and I would be thinking exactly what you did- the neighbors, my parents...I think that's exactly what Diane thought, too or she would have gotten out of bed and run to him. However, I think Lloyd is just right- he's private (mostly) in his proclamations of adoration.
One of my favorite movies is Shakespeare in Love, but Will and Viola's whole relationship is sex, so I don't think you can call that "romantic." The fire was sure to burn out of that one. But a fabulous movie!
My favorite romances by far, though, are not movies- they're books. Jane Eyre, Bleak House, Tess of the d'Ubervilles, Pride and Prejudice, My Antonia, Lorna Doone...I have so many. All enduring loves proved through great sacrifice. Not a teddy bear or roses. Both of which are totally embarrassing to receive. Yuck!
I forgot- Neil brought home milk last night after work because he noticed we were low. That's the best kind of romance to me.
Lloyd is most just right, I have to agree. That movie ruined most of us for real life men I think.
And milk? Too bad he is already yours or I would steal him!!
Jen, this is for you:
Rob: Look at these. I used to dream I'd be surrounded by exotic women's underwear forever and ever. Now I know they just save their best pairs for the nights they know they're going to sleep with somebody.
Natalie - contrived is the perfect word, thank you! And noticing the milk is low AND picking it up, too sweet!
I <3 Lloyd.
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