I don't have time for this, but here it goes.

I just realized how long it has been since I posted and wanted to put SOMETHING here. The problem is that it is spring break. And not only are the kids home, their dad is in Puerto Rico on vacation. (He wouldn't tell me where he is but Lily gave it away. Yeah, you read that right, he wouldn't tell me. Like I was going to follow him there or something. Sheesh!)

So I am sitting on the couch in my pjs with the kids at 10:30 am. We have NOTHING to eat in the kitchen and just drank the last of our milk. The love seat is covered with clean laundry. The hall is full of dirty laundry (I keep forgetting to get quarters). The floor is covered with various toys, books and apparently trash. The litter box is close to being labeled a bio hazard, as are the bathrooms. I have not seen my bedroom floor in months and the kids' room...let's not go there. There is a huge box with a Christmas tree in the hallway. I cannot move it alone and since I live alone that is a problem. There are boxes of unorganized and not really packed Christmas decorations in the dining room. I have to put away winter and bring out summer clothes. And if I have to watch Barbie Mermaidia one more time I will totally lose it!!

So, you can see that I really do NOT need to spend any more time on this computer. Yet, it pulls me back every time. Today I WILL get groceries. I should probably do at least one load of laundry since the kids are down to one clean pair of panties and have been out of clean socks for a few days now. If I were a 'good' mom I would find a way to get ALL the laundry done, but then again if I was a 'good' mom none of the things in the last paragraph would be true.

And I am watching the kids now play Barbies...TOGETHER...and not fighting. (At the exact moment I typed that they started fighting over some gold lamee pants. Apparently they do not fit one of the dolls because her 'booty is too big.' On my honor, they do not learn this stuff from me.) And I am torn between disrupting this rarely seen activity so that we can get dressed and get moving OR just putting on another movie and chilling out. No, don't let me do that. I have 9 days until I have some friends over for a get together and this place needs to be presentable or you will see this on the news:

Ok, time to move it or lose it. Wish me luck. I need it. 

The Healthcare Reformers and Docotormus Prime

Right now I wish I was really good at photo shop and could put up a Transformers picture where they are all in nursing caps and stethoscopes and Optimus Prime has a tie and a hand full of legal documents.  That might make my day better.

As it stands you just get to read today. No photos.

I currently am not offered group insurance through my employer. I am paying over $700 a month for coverage under COBRA after my divorce. I have been looking for an idividual plan that will cost me much less. Today I learned that this won't happen. Why? Because of a pre existing condition. Despite the fact that there has been no gap in my insurance coverage for my entire life, I hav been denied. What is the condition? Depression. Because I did the responsible thing and went into counseling instead of just relying on medication I have been denied. I have been informed that I cannot apply again until February 2011 because I must go one full year without counseling before I am clear to be covered.


Is this fair? Is this what you want for me? I work hard. I am a single mom. I am trying to make a better life. I have clinical depression, which is genetic. If I go off my medication I am not as good at my jobs, both at the library and as a mom. But what will I do now? I won't be able to afford the treatment I need. And God help me if I get really sick or am in an accident.

Yes, the bill has passed. But, the laws about pre existing conditions do not take effect until 2013. I guess we better all hope I am still alive by then since I won't be able to get any medical intervention in the meantime.
 
You may be asking why I can't get state insurance. Well, because my kids are not on it. They are covered by their dad. Adults cannot get Husky (the CT insurance plan) unless their kids are on it. I can stay on COBRA for 3 years, but at $700 a month that just won't happen. Right now work is paying for it, but as of July that is no more.
 
Maybe I will get lucky and another insurance company will accept me. But, at what cost? In case you can't tell, I am a bit stressed. This is doing wonders for my blood pressure. Uh oh, another pre existing condition. I am doomed!

Happy Easter! A story of my Faith.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my faith in Christ. Today being Easter, I felt this might be a good time to share this with all of you. Do not be wary, this is not a sermon. I just have realized a few things and feel like sharing.

As I mentioned, today is Easter. In the Christian tradition this is the remembrance of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Savior. Unlike Christmas, we know that our dates are right. He was crucified at the end of Passover. Yet, like Christmas we do a lot of things that seem to be a little strange for a Christian holiday.

(Yes, these are peeps eating an Easter feast of ... peeps.)

I think that even the most ignorant of Christians realizes that eggs and bunnies have nothing to do with Easter. 

(But they are awfully cute!)

So, I find it offensive when people post articles about the Pagan origins of these traditions. I feel like it insults my intelligence. As if I, as a foolish believer in unseen things, thinks that Romans pelted Christ with decorated eggs and set killer bunnies loose on his disciples. The fact of the matter is that long long ago a powerful and unnamed church decided to get more followers by adding in some good old pagan traditions to our new celebrations, and while they were at it they thought they would just try and time them about the same time. If you don't know where the traditions come from it is very interesting to read about from an historical perspective. Here is a link a friend of mine posted. (I know that she posted it in the spirit of knowledge, though, not in some means to sway believers against this holiday.)
http://ancienthistory.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_pagan_origins_of_easter

These musings on Easter and what it really means have me also reflecting on other discussions I have had of late with people about my faith. I think that some people may not think I am a very good Christian. Others may think I am too religious for their taste. In general though, I think most people really don't understand the faith I have. When asked about it I will offer my opinions, but until recently I was afraid to do even that. See, we live in a world where religions gets people nervous. And I don't like conflict. So, I just glide through and hold my faith in my heart and let others think what they like. I know and God knows my truth.

I have many friends who are atheists. And just over the last few weeks I have had really great conversations with them about God. I can't say I have tried to sway them to believe. I don't think that is a tactic that would ever work. I do, however, try to make them understand why I believe and  more importantly, to see that Christians are not all these people:

(I think the children hold these signs upsets me the most.)

And since it is these people, and the pedophile priests, and the polygamous cults that make the news, non-believers often see us all as the same. (I know many of my Mormon friends can relate because they get accused of many things that are far from the truth because of media portrayals that are misunderstood.) So, I try to make people see that those people up there are NOT what Christianity means. There are many many things that make up the Christian faith, but for me this scripture sums up what I want people to see:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:13

I won't get into the arguments I have had about the existence of God. I won't get to sermonizing, witnessing, spreading the gospel, or whatever you might want to call it. That is not what this post is about. This post is about having faith in something. People have faith in a lot of things, but of all things, isn't this the best thing to have faith in? And if you are one who doesn't have faith, is it really so hard on you that others do? So, my faith remains. And I thank my friends who question it, because that makes it stronger. I pray that more and more people understand that this Christian, and most of the others I know, are not them (see above). Our faith rests on a loving God. And my greatest wish, or prayer, is that I will continue to have friends, believers and non-believers, who respect my faith, my opinions, and my random eccentricities from time to time. We can all love and live together without the strife and fight we see on the news. 

This is a day to celebrate the power of Faith. Blessings to all of you, even if you don't want them, because I love you even when we disagree.