Cry, Baby, Cry

I was watching a movie with a friend today and started crying in a few scenes. He didn't find it cute or charming as I would have liked, but seemed to find me a bit ridiculous. I have come to terms with people thinking I am ridiculous over the past year or so, though, and its ok. I used to hate to cry in front of people, but this last year has brought me to tears so many times that I am just satisfied if my friends don't see me with snot running down my face...again. So, I cried. I didn't really hold it back, even when it was a silly scene to cry in. What was the movie, you ask? Was it an epic war film, a tragic love story, a coming of age drama? No. It was 2012. That's right, the really not so good action film starting dreamy Lloyd Dobler, also known as John Cusack.

Now, I know that is lame. I really really do. So please, let me explain. There are kids in this movie. A brother and a girl. And even worse, the girl is named Lily. LILY! Like I don't get all caught up in movies enough, they always have to go and name one of the characters after my kid! And the world is ending. And the parents are divorced (yeah, that's not familiar). And the kids keep getting really really close to death. Or worse, they get separated from the parents and cry. That does it. A kid scared and alone in a movie and I am toast.

Take Pirates of the Caribbean for example. You may not think there is any reason to get choked  up in that movie, but oh contrair. (Yeah, that's probably wrong, but I am so not in the mood to google it). There is a scene in Pirates, the first movie, where they dead guys come and are blowing up the whole island. It's chaos and people are screaming and there are dead dudes running around and showing off their bones when they step in the moonlight. And in the  midst of this there is a little boy, maybe 2 years old, screaming for him mommy. This kid is about to be trampled by a panicked drunk or hit with a cannon ball and he just is screaming while no one pays any attention until a woman, hopefully Mommy, snatches him up and runs. I own this movie. I have seen it probably 10 times. Every time I watch it I get choked up by that little boy.

It's a motherhood thing. You can't help, at least I can't, but think of your child in that situation, alone and scared. And that child wants no one but you. This child who on most days just wants to do their own thing and who is a pro at making a mother feel overworked and underappreciated needs Mommy when the going gets rough. And if Mommy isn't there, its heartbreaking.

So, that is why I cry in movies. Well, that is why I cry in the ones that no one else cries in. I cry in lots of movies. Songs make me cry, too. The National Anthem makes my heart ache for some reason and my eyes get a bit dewy. But it's ok. I am proud of it now. Is it lame? Of course it is. But it's me and I am learning everyday to accept who I am even if it will embarrass my dates and mortify my children.